Place eggs in a pot and cover with cold water by about an inch. Bring to a boil over high heat, then remove from heat, cover, and let sit for 10 minutes. Transfer eggs to an ice bath (cold water with ice) and let chill for at least 10 minutes—this stops the cooking process and makes peeling much easier. Once cooled, gently peel under cool running water, working from the wider end where the air pocket is located, then dice the eggs into 1/2-inch cubes and set aside in a large mixing bowl.

While the eggs are cooling, cook the bacon until crispy in a skillet over medium-high heat, about 6-8 minutes. Drain on paper towels and crumble once cooled. Finely dice the pickled jalapeños into 1/8-inch pieces and thinly slice the green onions. I find that keeping the jalapeños small helps distribute their flavor evenly throughout the salad without overwhelming any single bite. Have all components prepped and ready before mixing the dressing.

In a separate bowl, whisk together the softened cream cheese and mayonnaise until smooth and well combined. Add the jalapeño juice, garlic salt, cracked black pepper, smoked paprika, and fresh lime juice. Whisk until the dressing is creamy and fully incorporated with no lumps. I like to taste the dressing at this point and adjust seasonings if needed—the lime juice should brighten the flavors without being too tart.

Pour the dressing from Step 3 over the diced eggs in the large bowl. Add the crumbled bacon, diced pickled jalapeños, and sliced green onions. Gently fold everything together until all components are evenly coated and combined, being careful not to break up the egg pieces too much. Taste and adjust seasonings if needed. Serve immediately, or cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.